-roommate knocks multiple times at my door-
-says something important and apologizes for bothering me-
kath: hey i’m sorry for bothering, were you sleeping?
what i say: yeah, no it’s ok. sorry it took me a while to hear you knocking.
what i really mean: I WAS MASTURBATING YOU BITCH GET THE HELL OUT WHAT THE FUCK
“I had this experience last week and I still don’t know how to deal with it. I slept over at my best friend’s place and when we got there, her brother was having a really hot make out session on the couch with his girlfriend. We passed by them without them even knowing we were there, but it so amazingly hot (they were dressed, he was wearing shorts and she was wearing a skirt , but it was up to her waist, and he was fucking her through her panties and just by seeing his package through his shorts I felt myself getting a little hot). My friend and I just giggled when we got to her room, but I got seriously turned on by that, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom to shower (liar) and I just had to deal with it, so I used the shower head and came really fast. But now I can’t even look at this guy without thinking of him that way and I can’t stop masturbating over that scene whenever I have like 5 minutes to myself.”
happy birthday to me… and the 253 of you whose birthday it is today too!
Feminist porn not only exists, it’s fucking hot.
I offer up proof for you which you can view with your own queer loving eyes: Olivia Woods and Vivi Marie for CrashPad.
There is happy, enthusiastic consent when they try out the hitachi magic wand, and sweet giggling and tickling while they touch and kiss. There is responsive, light kink play with natural check-ins around likes/dislikes.
The way that Olivia and Vivi interact is natural and feels unscripted. And while my voyeuristic fix is completely fulfilled and I can happily orgasm along with these two, their focus never seems to be on providing a show. One of the great things about CrashPad is it always feels like you happened to wander into someone’s California bedroom, and they ignore you while they continue to pursue each others orgasms. This will also satisfy fans of traditional theatre, television, and film who are still dedicated to not breaking the fourth wall.
Finally, for those who are doubtful that kids these days are learning anything useful, Olivia and Vivi prove that just isn’t so; they practice exceptionally good sharing skills with their toys, are careful with their scissor(ing), and are kind and considerate at all times.
Q:I asked you a question like a month ago and I'm kinda scared as to why you didn't answer it
awkward moments from my inbox…
“I hid my vibrator and now I can’t remember where. Fuck.”
“Oh my gosh I feel so embarrassed! I was grinding on the edge of my bed and I was getting really close to cumming, but then my mom just opened the door and I stopped immediately and she didn’t ask or anything, just talked to me normally and stuff. I feel so embarrassed and I’m pretty sure she knew what I was doing. I really hope she doesn’t try to address it, or something because I’d really rather not talk about masturbation with my mom. If she does mention anything, what should I say?”
Oh, I would probably just say as little as possible in the hopes of ending the conversation ASAP.
“I was listening to some male orgasm sounds when the headphones came off and it played out loud like “UHHH…” for half second before I managed to pause it. it was so embarrassing, I hope my family didn’t hear.”
“My mom just walked into the bathroom and saw my electric toothbrush (which has no head on it of course) in my hand while I was trying to hide it, I told her I had just broken the head and was going to throw it away, but I think she’s onto me. I’m literally SO embarrassed :(( please tell me this has happened to other girls who still live at home, I’ll feel better knowing I’m not the only one who’s had to go through this!”
It’s not just you, but also: your electric toothbrush is meant to be in the bathroom remember? For brushing your teeth? That’s not even suspicious!
“I took my laptop into the bathroom to masturbate, and watch porn. Well. She caught me bringing it out of the bathroom, and she asked did I have it in there with me. I got nervous, and told her I wanted to finish reading something. I hope she doesn’t think anything of it. Any advice if asked again?”
'I can only pee if I have Netflix.'
“So, not even five minute ago, I was reading a story on solotouch and touching myself. As I was rubbing my clit, getting close to climax, I noticed a little bit of movement on my comforter (I was on my bed) and look over to see a SPIDER crawling towards me. I stopped ( I was freaking out), tried locating a shoe, and killing it. That was annoying. I just needed to share that.”
“After I finished getting off I realized I was out of deodorant and my mum keeps a bunch of new ones in her bathroom I didn’t bother getting dressed, cause you know I’m home alone. I open the door to their room and my dad is sitting there on his iPad and he looks up at me and I quickly closed the door and said nothing. I know it’s my fault in the first place. But I didn’t open the door all the way and maybe he didn’t see anything? Aaah I’m really embarrassed.”
“Oh my god. My dad may or may not have just caught me masturbating to your blog! I have no idea if he knows or not. Dying.”
*moment of silence for everyone that’s been walked in on*
"I just found this video and holy hell I came at least three times while watching it! It’s very woman-friendly and has a cute storyline with great chemistry (I sound like I’m reviewing a movie but that’s like what porn is, right?) I totally recommend this.”